Don’t be fooled: Marriage is NOT only about love and affection. It’s also about getting a whole bunch of stuff done. There is simply no way to see to everything–the bills, the children, the house, the car, the dishes, the laundry, the in-laws–to manage the mundane details of married life, without making a sincere commitment to flexibility.
Nobody opposes the PRINCIPLE of flexibility—it’s the PRACTICE of it that we resist.
We’d all much rather do the chores we like and that we think we do well. And, we try to bypass the ones that don’t fit our schedules, our temperaments, or our hand-me-down ideas about what only men or only women are “supposed” to do.
Before you choose to do or refuse to do what you believe isn’t your job, ask yourself:
- Do I have the time? (Or can I make the time? Will it keep me from responsibly handling the tasks we’ve agreed are mine to do? If not go ahead and do it.)
- Do I have the ability (or can I gain the ability by trying it) to do this chore at least adequately, or to see that it gets done by someone who does?
- Is it beneficial? Will it positively contribute to my mate or my marriage for me to do this or will it accommodate my mate’s irresponsibility?
With flexibility, you can get virtually anything done together. You no longer let ego stop you from assigning the task to whichever of you is available to do it.